Poker Junkie Recalls Quirky Family's Gambling Tips: Book Review

Martha Frankel was just 4 when her father whispered three pieces of sage advice in her ear during a poker game: ``If you don't have anything, get out. If you're second best, get out. But if you've got the goods, make them pay.''

``I didn't have a clue what this meant,'' admits a now middle-aged Frankel in her candid, funny memoir, ``Hats & Eyeglasses: A Family Love Affair With Gambling.''

If the seeds of adult predilections, and dependencies, are sown in childhood, then here's the proof. Frankel, who grew up in the New York boroughs of the Bronx and Queens, eventually discovers a real talent for poker, a passion that descends into addiction. To her credit, the author doesn't blame her family for her failings -- for them she expresses only fierce love.

Frankel paints a blissful, if quirky, childhood, complete with a cast of doting ``aunts'' and ``uncles'' -- a boisterous, loving clan of family friends who gamble and gossip together.

The women play mah-jongg in the kitchen in their housecoats. Young Martha is her Dad's ``lucky charm'' at the men's poker games in the living room. And she quickly learns the meaning of ``I've got hats and eyeglasses.''

``It's what happens when a ship goes down, and everything sinks,'' family friend Broadway patiently instructs. ``What floats to the surface is hats and eyeglasses. It means I have crapola, that I don't have a prayer.''

Playing Horses

By the time Frankel is 10, she's hanging out at the racetrack with her father and his buddies. Turns out she's a natural at picking horses. When Marty Frankel dies, 15-year-old Martha is devastated. She becomes a surly, rebellious teen -- and puts gambling behind her.

The poker gene doesn't really kick in until her mid-40s. By then, Frankel is a successful journalist, specializing in celebrity interviews. She's also working on a screenplay that has a female poker shark. In the interest of ``research,'' she contacts her cousin Keith, ex-con and onetime professional poker player. The advice sounds familiar.

``Sometimes you have a good hand, maybe even a great hand,'' Keith tells her, ``but you're pretty sure someone at the table has you beat. Fold. Don't get attached to your hand. You have good instincts, so trust them.''

Frankel finely hones those instincts, learning how to read the players at the table with ease. She starts frequenting her friend Sal's Wednesday night poker games and getting advice from another unexpected source, her mother, who warns her on the phone never to be a ``whatsittome.''

``It's the idiot who never knows how much the bet is when it's their turn,'' says her mom. ``Don't screw up the flow of the game.''

Sinking Fast

Frankel doesn't screw it up; she gets really good. And before long, she's making excuses to play whenever she can. And that script? Well, it never happens. She turns down plum magazine assignments, neglects her garden and her friends.

``But I am in a poker frenzy, and each week I do a little better,'' Frankel writes. ``Does it strike me as odd that I'm turning down 4- and 5-thousand-dollar assignments so I can possibly win 85 bucks on Wednesday?''

In 1999, Frankel discovers the emerging world of online poker. It's bliss to gamble all day in her pajamas, though it's near-impossible to read human behavior over the computer. She starts losing -- a lot.

``Hats & Eyeglasses'' thankfully avoids getting maudlin, or evangelical about 12-step programs. Frankel does get help; she's now back on her feet and restoring her battered bank account. And she's still playing poker on Wednesday nights.

``Hats and Eyeglasses'' is published by Tarcher/Penguin (226 pages, $23.95).

(Robin D. Schatz is an editor and TV producer for Bloomberg News. The opinions expressed are her own.)

News Added: 19 February, 2008

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